i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
