no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
COCAINE IS GR8
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