yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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