You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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