I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
