I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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