Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
