The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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