wake up i wanna do it froggy style
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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