dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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