Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
