i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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