I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
The uberlube is also flammable
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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