yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i can't believe i had my finger in that
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
