They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
