I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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