Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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