from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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