I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
