I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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