my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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