dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
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we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
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Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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