thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
she told me i tasted like america
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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