Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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