i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
