How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
