she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
