guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
