butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
