We're like a lot better than the average bears
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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