the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
