I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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