He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
