If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
