She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
