please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
