i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
