Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I just want nice things and good sex
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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