you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
