I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
