Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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