You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
