So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
