You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
