theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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