I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
