Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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