marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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