I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I don't think brook has ever known best
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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