Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize