The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
