Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
