just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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