soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
