2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
