I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
