I got chris browned last night
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
