I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize