I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
