i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
