put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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