dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
