Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
