I saw his package. It spoke to me.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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