Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
