Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
