Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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